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I don't know where to start when it comes to discussing this topic. So I will just go right away and dive into it. I will start by giving my definition of a lack of self esteem and self confidence : a lack of faith in one's self which will have an affect on abilities and capabilities of an individual.
Anecdote of my life
Confidence and Self Esteem have always been a problem in my life. When I was younger I actually believed I was ugly. My siblings will testify to the fact that I identified with Quasimodo ( the hunch back of Notre Dame). I always stayed out of the spot light and I have struggled with shyness throughout my life, which people often mistake for rudeness. I am terrified of public embarrassment , I think I could actually collapse if I was publicly humiliated.I personally believe it is important to accept our weakness as well as our strengths, by achieving this balance we know our capabilities and can fulfill our full potential.
Physical beauty was never my forte, I will not lie. My only 100% assurance was that I was intelligent, otherwise I couldn't necessarily be counted as one of the raving beauties of my time. I was an awkward pre teen and I think the awkwardness lasted for a long time. It didn't help that people around me used to call me ugly. On this point I would strongly advice you to surround yourself with positive people. I can't stress this point enough. Positive people have that rubbing off effect. You are more likely to become a more positive and hope filled person.
My lack of self confidence only got worse when I gained weight. In my teens I was a size 6/8 and had what a lot of people referred to as a beautiful body , but in my late teens my doctor put me on the pill for medical reasons. I went from a size 8 to an alarming size 14 in a space of 3 months and I continued to pile on the weight. I a m currently a size 16/18. I have learnt to love my body with all it's bumps and lumps. I do this by focusing on my good points and paying little attention to the parts I do not like. I have also learnt how to dress for my size, despite getting it wrong sometimes I think I am doing a pretty good job.
So what is the point of me pouring out one of my darkest secrets?
A lack of of confidence is what I can closely describe is self -doubt. It affects all aspects of your life. The opportunities you take, the friends you make and the quality of your life and even how people perceive you.When you have a lack of self confidence and self esteem you project it in your everyday life. People will see this and they may not take you seriously. Even if you wanted to take on a serious project or do something meaningful I doubt that you would be able to do it to the best of your ability because you will second guess everything you do.
Life is like a market where you sell yourself as a product. You market who you are to everyone you come in contact with daily. If you can't convince yourself that you are worth it , beautiful, intelligent , ambitious you name it then it will be very difficult to convince other people the same thing. A lack of self confidence will reproduce indecisiveness, laziness, anti-social behavior a negative mind, depression and many more like characteristics.
What am I doing to improve my Self Confidence and Esteem
1) This is advice from a girl struggling with the same problem. To be honest in my case I am dealing with my issues by delving into a deeper relationship with God. Not a lot of people would openly want to admit this but I am not ashamed of my beliefs. God is central to everything in my life ( or a least I am attempting to make him my center). It is hard at times, but it is getting easier and easier because I can just give it up to God.
2) As I already mentioned surround yourself with positive people who give you constructive criticism. However learn to stand on your own , by identifying with your own personal views
3) Me time : Now I personally love to be surrounded by my friends a lot, but it is important to take sometime to yourself, where you think about your life and reflect. Do something, like read a book, paint your nails or just get creative.
4) I read somewhere that exercise and a healthy diet go hand in hand with feeling good about yourself. I am not sure how true this is but it makes sense. When I make myself do exercise (which is once in a blue moon) I feel energized after. This is something I will be taking on.
5) wear outfits that compliment your body. Looking good will make you feel good and you will radiate positive I love myself vibes.
6) Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful. Do this and believe it as you say it to yourself.
On my personal road to gaining SCE
In the next 2 years I would love to blossom, cease being shy, be more confident in my abilities and put myself out there more. Another thing I am doing is joining the gym and exercising to be healthy. If in the process I lose weight then so be it. I will also challenge myself to eat more healthy.I would love to be a motivational speaker for people struggling with this issue. I feel that once you have experienced something you can relate to others and know where to start from.
One last tangent note :True confidence starts from working inwards, work on those things first and you will blossom. I am already seeing some progress I have made, but I want the full package. I know I will achieve my goals. How can I fail with God on my side?
Until my next thoughts
Love
Tiwi x
