African ideologies of dating, marriage and relationships in the 21st century? part 1

This is hopefully going to be an interesting post that gets people talking. I have a few questions about how Africans (including myself) look at relationships.

You are probably wondering why I am interested in this? I have been reading a few articles that made me quite angry at first. Then they made me laugh then very perplexed. 

I should probably start off by saying what I personally believe any kind of relationship between a man and a woman should entail.

A relationship to me means an equal partnership. It is a partnership that two people who love each other enter Things like mutual respect and similar beliefs should carry more weight than a woman doing the domestic cores.
 

For some naive reason I thought we live in the 21st century,  where women have rights, can get an education and therefore have a career. Therefore I assumed that the dynamics of the old age women's place is the kitchen have evolved to a system that helps both man and woman . However when I read a number of articles on 'why a lot of ..... women (mostly African countries) will never get married in their lives ever'. I was genuinely shocked and appalled ,by not only the writer but the responses from the readers. According to the article in question. Women's rights have 'destroyed' women.  I will have to quote this writer who without shame said that women having the mentality that whatever men can do women can do better is and I quote ' a lie from the devil'. Apparently we ( we being women)are all vapid and only concern with buying expensive things ( mind you this money he was referring to is money we have earned ourselves)and painting our faces. We dress too provocative and have no respect. The writer suggested that women should not have facebook or twitter because no 'respectable man' would want to marry a woman who has more than 1000 friends on facebook. Or a woman who spends her time on bbm or recieves too many phonecalls....

 This is what made me laugh the hardest : According to the article ( which I will link at the end of this) women today refuse to cook and clean , run bath water and blah blah blah for their husbands(or wanna be husband/ husband in waiting). Which is why we will never get married or get cheated on. A female reader asked if women should resort to applying our faces with Vaseline, wearing robes and being uneducated to keep a 'responsible man'. I am with her on that line because I really don't get it? Should I be wearing those dirty robes with Vaseline on my face, while standing at attention waiting for instructions from my all so knowledgeable husband and master if I want him to stick around?

I genuinely am seeking answers because the last time I checked we live in the 21st century;  Is cooking, cleaning, saluting a man with yes sir, playing down our intelligence , and helping a man achieve HIS GOALS AND DREAMS really what we as women should aim to be or do in order to get married? Is that it really?We as women have to make all the sacrifices and live according to what makes our man feel less insecure while looking like  Beyonce  ( well as less made up version) .We can't be more successful than them because we will 'not respect them'  and  we won't do our 'DUTY' as wives or prosective wives? 0_o...

Another thing that makes me laugh is how people look at marriage as if your life is over if you don't have a husband? Is it now? Is someones value as a human being really measured by marriage. I am not in any way slumming marriage . I just think people should get married for the right reasons not because society expects them to or for any kind of 'social standing'. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic but whatever happened to love and mutual respect, and similar values being what a marriage should be based on? 

Now I am not saying that women who choose to do the things I have mentioned above are wrong. That is them and if it makes them happy then so be it. However some women myself included do not want to do that. No I don't lack home training or whatever you might choose to call it. I just think that they dynamics of marriage have changed; it is not my DUTY  to cook for you and whatever you think I should be doing as a 'good little wife. It is a privileged. I want a partner not a master. If I want to do all those things for a man it should be because I want to not because I have to do in order to ensure he stays faithful to me or even sticks around. According to that article and it's responses men have wives to unburden their domestic life and provide unlimited sex 0_o.We should all return to the 7th century were women stayed at home taking care of home and child while men hunted and gathered food.

I could go on forever about this. Alas there is too much to say and this topic is inexhaustible.

Please read the article I am referring to here .

I would love to know what you guys think about the questions I have raised as well as what you think about the article.

Thank you for reading

Tiwi x