what i'm listening to.

So  I haven't done one of these posts in forever. Actually to be quite honest I've done like 1 of these ever before lol. I was just looking back on some of my old blog posts and I decided to do another What I'm listening to these days.

I thought I'd share 2 songs that have been in my Spirit first. One is called Desperate People  by Micah Stampley and the other is called I give myself away by William McDowell.

So I just got back from Singapore and on the plane I wanted to listen to some music to relax me. You see , I hate flying the turbulence freaks me out. On my journey back I rediscovered some music (in the form of the Michael Jackson Thriller album)  and discovered Alica Keyz new album Girl On fire ( I think it's called that not sure).Alicia's album is from the heart, I could feel it, all the songs are beautiful.

Listen to it believe me when I say you won't be disappointed.

This album has so many good memories for me. I'd forgotten about the song the girl is mine. I know all the words and  I sang along to it. And the song PYT always made me feel so beautiful and special even when I didn't love myself all the much.

The next song is by Justin Timberlake. One of my best friends posted it on my wall and I just love it. JT coming back with some good music . The song 'That girl' is very soulful and kind of reminds me of his Senorita hey days.

Fantasia has pleasantly surprised me. I love her new look and her new single. She sample 'night shift' by the Commodores for this new single and I must say she did the beat justice. The 1920s/30s flapper girl look throughout the video was on point and the leading man was a good choice in my opinion.

Another love song by one of my personal favorites  Chrisette Michele. This woman grows with me. She has a song for every event in my life lol. A couple of  forevers is a beautiful song about being in love ( no i' m not in love yet) But when I am this will be one of my songs.

Chris Brown's new song Fine China, is beautiful. I love love love it.

Eve is back and I love her new single. It's very inspiring and different from what you usually hear in Hip Hop these days. ( I am not even a hip hop fan and I love this song)

Now I'm going to take you guys to the mother land. Lately I have been loving Liquid deep and dj Kent, Big nuz and DJ Ganyani and Khona by Mafikizolo. If you have never listend to South African music then prepare to be delighted.

Liquid deep and DJ Kent on top of the world is a beautiful song. I love it. It's about being in love. 

Big Nuz, DJ Ganyani  and Mlu

 The beat is awesome. I love this song, the video is cool too especially Mlu's gold teeth ( lol) 

Mafikizolo doing what they do best. This song is awesome and makes you want to dance.

Tear gas Jabula song is awesome. I love everything about it.

World meet my new loves the Soil. This song is beautiful and all about love once again :D.

Let this song speak for itself ( besides that I'm tired of describing stuff lol) 

I've also been listening to a future superstar in the making and a good friend of mine Lando. This girl can sing, she is a talented artist and true to her craft. She has two songs out at the moment and I thought I should share her beautiful voice with you guys. 

And to end with I found another Calvin Richardson song 'True love' This song is beautiful. I love it

I hope you like my installment of what I'm listening too. If you guys have any suggestions on good music you think I'd like then please feel free to share. As you can tell from this post I am into all kinds of music.

Have a lovely day and stay inspired. 

Tiwi

x

Hair Diary: Blowout

So I finally used some heat on my hair just to blow it out. It was not fully stretched out  but I loved how I looked. The humidity shrank my hair :(. So for the final looked I just used 4 bobby pins, 2 on each side. I made a mini fro hawk.

Here are a few pictures of me:

Makeup free

ready for a night out and about Singapore.

Hope you like.

Tiwi

I love me some him: A letter to my future husband

I don't know you yet but I feel like I will when we finally meet.
I don't believe in love at first sight but I hope my spirit will recognise it's soul mate when we finally meet.
Where are you now? Sometimes I like to sit here and imagine you. I imagine you teaching me something new. Well more like playfullly forcing me to try something as crazy as climbing the Himalayas mountains.(Not gonna happen boo lets start small : camping in our backyard perhaps?)
We will be different I just know it, but we will be beautiful together. And maybe you guys think I am a hopeless romantic but this is a letter to my future husband, best friend , soul mate and father of my children.
I believe that we will have that consuming love because we will both understand the source of Love that is God. God will be our center and the strong foundation of us.
You will push me to be a better I will push you in return.
We will be  one. I am not afraid to fall anymore. That being said we will walk into love with our eyes wide open not fall in love with the idea of what either one of us should be. This means that we will both realise that we are flawed human beings and accept each other's imperfections with love.
One day I will tell you the funny story about how I used to run away from you. How I didn't realise that I was allowing the world to dictate and destroy our vision of love.
You will be everything and more and I will be everything you ever dreamed of.
You will be enough for me and I will be enough for you.
It's funny because once I put God in the driver's seat I begin to pray about you and for you.
I've had this dream about you since I was 15. In this dream I see our first born  child . A beautiful baby girl, with big brown eyes and curly hair. We will love her and the rest of our brood. Have I mentioned I want 5?
Sometimes I want us to meet as soon as possible. But at the moment, I know that God is perfecting us for each other. I have so many things He needs to deal with in me.  So that I will be all you need.
I want us to be happy
I want us to be successful and most of all I want our love to grow everyday.
My ultimate gift to you is 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. I believe this is talking about our love.

Tiwi

When the pressure gets me ...

This is a little something I wrote a while back

When the pressure gets to me . My brain screams retreat, the panic button comes on and I just freeze. I don't do anything I just freeze. Motionless , clammy , sweaty, nauseous it all happens to me.
I don't understand why I keep doing this to myself. I know I have a God that is bigger than this, but there seems to be this un-explainable road block in my life.
I feel like life is happening all around me and I'm stagnant, not good enough, stuck
that apple in my throat is difficult to swallow. I can't even explain these emotions in words, just tears. Tears fall but the panic and stress never go. My emotions are all over the place.
I don't understand why I am so stuck here. I have things to do but I would rather read senseless books, be stuck on Facebook and tweet my life away. When. To be quite frank I don't even understand twitter.
When the pressure comes my body pays the prices, I can't sleep. It's 3 am , I am exhausted but I can't do it. I feel like I can't live life. I am irrationally angry, I eat when I am not hungry and too many heavy thoughts of what a failure I am consume me. Even my skin pays the price of the pressure.
I am tired. I do not wish to end my life I am just torn in too many directions.
To be quite frank I don't want to end up a nobody and at this rate poverty looks like she's chairing for me to be on her team.
I spend like I am a millionaire , well a lazy millionaire. I can stay in bed or hours just doing nothing. I am so tired of this my brain hurts. I just want to walk , and keep on walking.
I can't seem to get anything right . It is like I am being torn in two and nothing is going right.
There is no balance in my life. I just feel it spiraling down down down. Work ethic 0. health minus 0 everything is just wrong. i am bone tired and slowly running crazy.

Hair Diary : the beginning

I recently saw a good friend of mine's hair diary on facebook.  It reminded me of one of my resoluitons for this year which was to ' document stuff about my hair' ( I'm just paraphrasing).

Background
So my last relaxer was on the 10th of April 2011. I can honestly say that I do not miss the creamy crack which never agreed with my hair. I always used to burn and my hair was just in a state of utter rubbishness. So after my failed romance with the creamy crack I decided to never relax my hair, I had no idea that there was a whole natural hair beauties movement. I didn't know how to take care of my natural hair or anything all I knew was that I didn't want to touch relaxer ever again. What further cemented my choice was the documentary 'Good hair' by Chris rock. I believe that I have already talked about this in my big chop post.

Now I tranisted from 2011 till 2012. My hair was completely natural when I decided to BC it. However I wanted a more even look so I still went ahead and cut it. This was on the 26th of January 2012


Don't mind the dandruff ( iz natural) my baby sis hates the before picture

The funny thing about my hair is I did not initially take care of it. I went through phases of trying to take care of it and then just giving up completely. So my first year as a natural was spent in hair ignorance  I believe my hair would have been longer if I remained consistent. But I didn't. Bad hair care along with bad hair styles ( pick and drop will never see my head oh).

So fast forward today and I am more interested in my hair. I know that it is not about the length but it is about how healthy my hair is. I have learnt so much from natural hair blogs and YouTube videos. I don't have a defined regime at the moment, I am currently in motion of trying different things on my hair. I have so many products and I am loving it. I also decided to start measuring how long my hair grows from this month because I honestly can't count the times before. I think I've ranted enough let me share a few pictures of phases my hair has gone through.

this is the most recent one, i think this was my first failed attempt at a twist out or was it a wash and go. 

Fav hairstyle
 

my haor at it's longest
 

afro
 

classic I cba with this hair  moment

first time I two strand twisted my hair . I loved the result

So these are the only hair styles I have tried with my hair. Pretty standard and boring but I will be trying out some new products and hair styles. I really want to learn how to flat twist. This is just the beginning as the title says.


Until next time loves.

The Phoenix month.

Well it's nearly the end of January, not quite the end but getting there :)

I am sure that you guys have realised that I never plan my posts, I just write led by inspiration. Maybe planning is something I should try out?

This has been a busy month for me and so much has changed, for instance I finished my 3rd year dissertation ( 2 days late but mehhh). I had my one and only exam and now I'm looking forward . Next stop Singapore .Yes people I'm jetting off to Singapore ( thank you beautiful geography course for the opportunity) even thought it will be school related trip , I am still excited. I can't believe I'm graduating in July. I'm excited about the future. 

One day I might tell you my future plans but for now I will hit you guys up with my resolution progress.

So far I've tackled the cooking more food res. I couldn't document it as I'm still camera-less  Yes , yes I thought I'd have got one by now but am still working on that :D. Hopefully February should see me with a brand new camera and pow more pictures. I am going to work on my diet and exercise program this week , I'll let you guys know what the plan is. 

January is a great month for various reasons. It's my sister's birthday towards the end of the month ( I need my grand-babies soon soon from her); it's also my 1 year natural and creamy crack free anniversary. My natural hair journey has been stressful. When I did my big chop last year I didn't even know a natural beauty community existed ( so I made a lot of mistakes with my hair) . I will be doing a separate post about my hair journey soon. Finally, January is  what I like to call 'the phoenix month'. It 's all about that renewal of life and all those awesome things that encapsulate new beginnings. I can honestly say I am still as excited about the new year 21 days later. Are you?

I was just inspired to write about new beginnings. So here's my piece of Prose on the topic:

My past does not define me

Bye bye old days. old me

Hello hope, sunshine, unknown exploits.

Hello mystery

New me, you are a me I can't say I have met before.

You are 'that girl'. Stronger ,wiser

Remember that song ' you gotta be' 

You are all those things.

You are you and happy to be the person God made.

You are wonderfully made

A unique creation, made to fulfill a unique purpose

Your beauty is unlike any other because there can only ever be one you.

Bye bye old days, filled with doubt and mistakes

Mistakes, we took the lesson and left the action.

Thank you yesterday for the experiences.

We have an idea of who we are now. But my past does not define me because everyday is a new day .

Constantly being shaped and molded into the imperfect but perfect me.

Simple concepts . 

I know but sometimes we simply forget to look into that mirror and scream ' I am beautiful' 

My past does not define me ,I say again it contributes to small parts of who I am.

That's all I have for today folks. Hope You have had a lovely month and to all my University of Liverpool family good luck with your exams.

You guys will be hearing from me again soon :D So in Tiwi nerdiness.

Get your Phoenix on

Tiwi x

New Year... New start

Happy New Year everybody. It's 2 days to late ( or more O_o) but I have a policy. Only write when inspired and when  one actually has something productive to say.

Like most people I make a new year resolution list every new year. The things I set out to do most of the time are achievable goals but I never seem to achieve any of it (except for this one year when I actually managed to stop biting my nails).  This has escalated into an annoying trend of  me writing   resolutions and me never actually do anything about it . For the last 3-4 years my list has been something along the lines of : loose weight , get healthy, go on a diet, save money, cut down on shopping and so on and so on. My 2013 list is yet to be written, as I am still dealing with 2012 work load.

So like the scatter brain I can be I decided to go ahead and come up with a mini list . This year I want more than just a superficial list of things I want to do / fix about myself. I want a more versatile resolutions that will lead to some positive thinking and changes. I am looking at goals with longevity , things that lay a great foundation for my future.
 I am purposely going to do something completely new this year ( maybe mountain climbing or camping, for those who know me I'm sure your having a massive LOL at the thought of me doing either one of these activities but mehh) .

 Here is my incomplete draft  list :

• This year I want to be a less selfish person. I want to be more aware of other people's needs before mine.
• I want to learn more about humility
• Be more focused
• This year I am going to finally start loosing the weight. I will do this by documenting my weight loss on this blog.
• I want to learn more about natural health care. 
• I will change my diet this year. I want to be a healthier individual 
• I will learn new recipes this year and perfect the ones I know
• I will learn how to sew ( more like refresh my memory on how to)
• Get a job
• I will take more pictures
• I will take more calculated risks
• I will put myself out there more
• I will volunteer for a charity
• I will incorporate more neutral colours into my closet. ( believe me my rainbow closet is doing my nut in).
• Go to bible study 

Ok guys so that is all I could think of for now. . .  So what is going to be my motivation?
Well I am setting myself a blog challenge. I am going to document all these things and more right here on this blog, so prepare to be awed and a bit perplexed. This might just be the year I start vlogging :D ( calculated risk wink ,wink). I am so excited about doing this and you guys get to make this journey with me excited much? I know I am going to have fun and learn so much. Can't wait to share my chaotic world with you :D

Love you guys

Tiwi x