Him

You sang to me from the depths of your soul.
Your essence is deep, you are my Renaissance man.
You are intelligent, talented , spiritual ( you know the Godly kind of spiritual). With you it's more than your looks in fact your looks are just the added bonus. Your mind makes you beautiful to me. The things you say and do make simply shine a light on your physical being.
I love it when you sing it comes from deep within your soul. Those husky undertones take me to a special place. A place where I imagine sunflower fields, sunshine, happiness and freedom. Your voice it warms me up like hot chocolate on a rainy day. It is like an invisible hug cloaking me with love.

Catching Feelings

Sometimes I would sit and think of you...
Life sure is funny. Our meeting was nothing special . But it sure taught me a lesson.
I don't know what to think anymore but life has taught me not to listen to feelings
Feelings are one thing I imagined. Between you and me. Feelings that extended beyond the physical.
How I was wrong, you see you know how to toy with me and you were good at it when I allowed it.
Realising I had allowed foolishness to make me feel unworthy , gave me the power to take charge and cut  those feelings.
You see you like to play those mind games. And yet he claims to be an open book. Humans , we are so flawed and twisted that we deceive ourselves sometimes.
Feelings. In my opinion they're dangerous and can get your heart into some interesting situations.
Feelings are a choice. They can be imagined you know?
I've imagined a few in my day.

what i'm listening to.

So  I haven't done one of these posts in forever. Actually to be quite honest I've done like 1 of these ever before lol. I was just looking back on some of my old blog posts and I decided to do another What I'm listening to these days.

I thought I'd share 2 songs that have been in my Spirit first. One is called Desperate People  by Micah Stampley and the other is called I give myself away by William McDowell.

So I just got back from Singapore and on the plane I wanted to listen to some music to relax me. You see , I hate flying the turbulence freaks me out. On my journey back I rediscovered some music (in the form of the Michael Jackson Thriller album)  and discovered Alica Keyz new album Girl On fire ( I think it's called that not sure).Alicia's album is from the heart, I could feel it, all the songs are beautiful.

Listen to it believe me when I say you won't be disappointed.

This album has so many good memories for me. I'd forgotten about the song the girl is mine. I know all the words and  I sang along to it. And the song PYT always made me feel so beautiful and special even when I didn't love myself all the much.

The next song is by Justin Timberlake. One of my best friends posted it on my wall and I just love it. JT coming back with some good music . The song 'That girl' is very soulful and kind of reminds me of his Senorita hey days.

Fantasia has pleasantly surprised me. I love her new look and her new single. She sample 'night shift' by the Commodores for this new single and I must say she did the beat justice. The 1920s/30s flapper girl look throughout the video was on point and the leading man was a good choice in my opinion.

Another love song by one of my personal favorites  Chrisette Michele. This woman grows with me. She has a song for every event in my life lol. A couple of  forevers is a beautiful song about being in love ( no i' m not in love yet) But when I am this will be one of my songs.

Chris Brown's new song Fine China, is beautiful. I love love love it.

Eve is back and I love her new single. It's very inspiring and different from what you usually hear in Hip Hop these days. ( I am not even a hip hop fan and I love this song)

Now I'm going to take you guys to the mother land. Lately I have been loving Liquid deep and dj Kent, Big nuz and DJ Ganyani and Khona by Mafikizolo. If you have never listend to South African music then prepare to be delighted.

Liquid deep and DJ Kent on top of the world is a beautiful song. I love it. It's about being in love. 

Big Nuz, DJ Ganyani  and Mlu

 The beat is awesome. I love this song, the video is cool too especially Mlu's gold teeth ( lol) 

Mafikizolo doing what they do best. This song is awesome and makes you want to dance.

Tear gas Jabula song is awesome. I love everything about it.

World meet my new loves the Soil. This song is beautiful and all about love once again :D.

Let this song speak for itself ( besides that I'm tired of describing stuff lol) 

I've also been listening to a future superstar in the making and a good friend of mine Lando. This girl can sing, she is a talented artist and true to her craft. She has two songs out at the moment and I thought I should share her beautiful voice with you guys. 

And to end with I found another Calvin Richardson song 'True love' This song is beautiful. I love it

I hope you like my installment of what I'm listening too. If you guys have any suggestions on good music you think I'd like then please feel free to share. As you can tell from this post I am into all kinds of music.

Have a lovely day and stay inspired. 

Tiwi

x

Hair Diary: Blowout

So I finally used some heat on my hair just to blow it out. It was not fully stretched out  but I loved how I looked. The humidity shrank my hair :(. So for the final looked I just used 4 bobby pins, 2 on each side. I made a mini fro hawk.

Here are a few pictures of me:

Makeup free

ready for a night out and about Singapore.

Hope you like.

Tiwi

I love me some him: A letter to my future husband

I don't know you yet but I feel like I will when we finally meet.
I don't believe in love at first sight but I hope my spirit will recognise it's soul mate when we finally meet.
Where are you now? Sometimes I like to sit here and imagine you. I imagine you teaching me something new. Well more like playfullly forcing me to try something as crazy as climbing the Himalayas mountains.(Not gonna happen boo lets start small : camping in our backyard perhaps?)
We will be different I just know it, but we will be beautiful together. And maybe you guys think I am a hopeless romantic but this is a letter to my future husband, best friend , soul mate and father of my children.
I believe that we will have that consuming love because we will both understand the source of Love that is God. God will be our center and the strong foundation of us.
You will push me to be a better I will push you in return.
We will be  one. I am not afraid to fall anymore. That being said we will walk into love with our eyes wide open not fall in love with the idea of what either one of us should be. This means that we will both realise that we are flawed human beings and accept each other's imperfections with love.
One day I will tell you the funny story about how I used to run away from you. How I didn't realise that I was allowing the world to dictate and destroy our vision of love.
You will be everything and more and I will be everything you ever dreamed of.
You will be enough for me and I will be enough for you.
It's funny because once I put God in the driver's seat I begin to pray about you and for you.
I've had this dream about you since I was 15. In this dream I see our first born  child . A beautiful baby girl, with big brown eyes and curly hair. We will love her and the rest of our brood. Have I mentioned I want 5?
Sometimes I want us to meet as soon as possible. But at the moment, I know that God is perfecting us for each other. I have so many things He needs to deal with in me.  So that I will be all you need.
I want us to be happy
I want us to be successful and most of all I want our love to grow everyday.
My ultimate gift to you is 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. I believe this is talking about our love.

Tiwi

When the pressure gets me ...

This is a little something I wrote a while back

When the pressure gets to me . My brain screams retreat, the panic button comes on and I just freeze. I don't do anything I just freeze. Motionless , clammy , sweaty, nauseous it all happens to me.
I don't understand why I keep doing this to myself. I know I have a God that is bigger than this, but there seems to be this un-explainable road block in my life.
I feel like life is happening all around me and I'm stagnant, not good enough, stuck
that apple in my throat is difficult to swallow. I can't even explain these emotions in words, just tears. Tears fall but the panic and stress never go. My emotions are all over the place.
I don't understand why I am so stuck here. I have things to do but I would rather read senseless books, be stuck on Facebook and tweet my life away. When. To be quite frank I don't even understand twitter.
When the pressure comes my body pays the prices, I can't sleep. It's 3 am , I am exhausted but I can't do it. I feel like I can't live life. I am irrationally angry, I eat when I am not hungry and too many heavy thoughts of what a failure I am consume me. Even my skin pays the price of the pressure.
I am tired. I do not wish to end my life I am just torn in too many directions.
To be quite frank I don't want to end up a nobody and at this rate poverty looks like she's chairing for me to be on her team.
I spend like I am a millionaire , well a lazy millionaire. I can stay in bed or hours just doing nothing. I am so tired of this my brain hurts. I just want to walk , and keep on walking.
I can't seem to get anything right . It is like I am being torn in two and nothing is going right.
There is no balance in my life. I just feel it spiraling down down down. Work ethic 0. health minus 0 everything is just wrong. i am bone tired and slowly running crazy.

Hair Diary : the beginning

I recently saw a good friend of mine's hair diary on facebook.  It reminded me of one of my resoluitons for this year which was to ' document stuff about my hair' ( I'm just paraphrasing).

Background
So my last relaxer was on the 10th of April 2011. I can honestly say that I do not miss the creamy crack which never agreed with my hair. I always used to burn and my hair was just in a state of utter rubbishness. So after my failed romance with the creamy crack I decided to never relax my hair, I had no idea that there was a whole natural hair beauties movement. I didn't know how to take care of my natural hair or anything all I knew was that I didn't want to touch relaxer ever again. What further cemented my choice was the documentary 'Good hair' by Chris rock. I believe that I have already talked about this in my big chop post.

Now I tranisted from 2011 till 2012. My hair was completely natural when I decided to BC it. However I wanted a more even look so I still went ahead and cut it. This was on the 26th of January 2012


Don't mind the dandruff ( iz natural) my baby sis hates the before picture

The funny thing about my hair is I did not initially take care of it. I went through phases of trying to take care of it and then just giving up completely. So my first year as a natural was spent in hair ignorance  I believe my hair would have been longer if I remained consistent. But I didn't. Bad hair care along with bad hair styles ( pick and drop will never see my head oh).

So fast forward today and I am more interested in my hair. I know that it is not about the length but it is about how healthy my hair is. I have learnt so much from natural hair blogs and YouTube videos. I don't have a defined regime at the moment, I am currently in motion of trying different things on my hair. I have so many products and I am loving it. I also decided to start measuring how long my hair grows from this month because I honestly can't count the times before. I think I've ranted enough let me share a few pictures of phases my hair has gone through.

this is the most recent one, i think this was my first failed attempt at a twist out or was it a wash and go. 

Fav hairstyle
 

my haor at it's longest
 

afro
 

classic I cba with this hair  moment

first time I two strand twisted my hair . I loved the result

So these are the only hair styles I have tried with my hair. Pretty standard and boring but I will be trying out some new products and hair styles. I really want to learn how to flat twist. This is just the beginning as the title says.


Until next time loves.