Mr Philosopher

You are that Jill Scott song minus the part about loving me

I wouldn't say I loved you but I was in strong like.

You intrigued me with your words and thoughts.

Your mind was the main attraction.

On these long nights when sleep is aloof and my mind wonders.

I always remember you.

We could have been great together says my flesh.

But my spirit knows better. We would have destroyed each other.

Like Romeo and Juliet. Minus the Shakespearean drama.

I will always cherish the times we spent together, talking about life and exploring each others minds.

You were a moment in time mr. A microcosm of my brush with men.

From you I learn't the art of letting go. Not getting ahead of myself and dealing with my confused emotions. Boy did I get a run for my feelings. I realise now that you were a test... I learnt not to give away my heart so easily with you. You made me laugh so hard and you almost made me cry. If I still knew you I would say thank you .Even though I'm sure you wouldn't understand.

You could almost fade into the background for our meeting was but a brush of fate. 

We were both at  life's crossroad going through some things. 

Like I said before you remind me of the chords to the Jill Scott song ' He loves me' minus the love. Whenever I hear that song from now on wards it will remind me of you.

strong like
Tiwi x

Unapologetic immigrant

You always ask me. 'Where are you from'?

I say oh ' Skipton' but you say No. Where are you from 'originally'.

My thought process when you ask me that question is ' Here we go again'. What follows after my long winded awkward explanation about my heritage ' Oh so why did you move here'?

Why do you think I moved here?  

For some reason this world believes the 1st world is the land of opportunity and bright futures.

Meanwhile African and Africans have no faith in their own systems. Forever looking at distant lands other than our own for our bright futures. It's a sad reality. We don't have faith in our selves and the rest of the world sees us a a continent of beggars, rife with corruption , disease and hunger! 

You might get mad  at me but you know it's true!

Instead of improving our homelands we think about the I. Inequalities grow bigger. 'Developments happen' but the corruption and dishonesty of the immoral systems in place  make us passive beings who look for our bright futures, big money and the likes in other lands. No one wants to be the first one to build Africa up. 

Sometimes I ask myself how can the richest continent be so poor and broken?

I am an unapologetic immigrant. At first I used to feel inferior faced with the question ' Why did you move here?'. Alot of my time spent explaining that my parents got a job so we had to move. I find it rude and disrespectful that people feel a sense of entitlement to quiz people about why they move. Don''t you watch the new? Duh. Look at the Africa you see on the BBCs and the  ITVs! If you were an immigrant faced with the chance of a 'better life' wouldn't you move?

Don't get me wrong my Africa is beautiful. It is just plagued by a disease called greed and entitlement for work not done. 

Are people not entitled to move these days? can't a person seek a better life. You expect immigrants to sympathise with you. Welcome to the reality of this world. People move to obtain an elusive sense of a better life. To live in countries where they are hated and killed. Mistreated and disrespected! All for an opportunity at improving their life. It is in our human psyche to seek better opportunities for ourselves. 

What do you think mate! I want a bright future too. I want to be taken seriously and to have more 'opportunities'. This is what I have been fed. Hurl your go back to your countries. Hurl your racist slurs. I will still be here. Didn't you know we live in a globalised world?! Was it not your country that 'discovered us' as savages who were uncivilized and didn't know any better. Now you have the ideal life and won't share the pie.

Everyone wants to have a good life. That is why we leave our homes, the sunshine, good food , family and friends to seek this elusive 'better life'. 

One thing I am going to change

There are no quick fixes when it comes to success.
                                                      -Ralph JP
One thing I am going to change is my work ethic. I sat down with myself and reflected about my life. The things I have lost out on and why I am at this point in my life. There are so many things I regret in my life because I didn't work hard enough.

I realised that my lack of a good work ethic had lead to me becoming chronically lazy. Yes I said it lazy. I made so many bad choices and mistakes. My work ethic is exactly what made me graduate with a 2.2 and not the first I should have got. I also realised that my poor work ethic has made my life more difficult and restrictive. I have formed bad and unhealthy habits with myself.All the discipline I had as a child has flown out of the window and my life has become rife with excuses and disappointments that I have cause. 

So what am I going to do?

 I have to change, This is something I feel God has been trying to show me for a long time. He has given me so many chances and opportunities to turn my life around and learn to lean on HIM. If my work ethic is bad, how will I hold down a job ? How will I be productive and be satisfied with any of my achievements. How will I follow God's will for my life. How will I even maintain my relationship with God?

The first step in this journey is being completely honest and true to myself. Because if I can lie to myself, not take the blame for my actions. Then how will my work ethic improve. Talent without hard work is wasted. Like any lost person I want a clear starting point. I have turned to God and my bible as well as Google for help.

Proverbs 14:23 says : All hard work brings profit , but mere talk leads only to poverty. 

The bible is a my life guide line. When things are good and when things are bad I turn to the Bible and I believe that this verse just sums it up. All I did was type 'hard work' into bible gateway and all the things that came up surrounding this topic strongly illustrated that to achieve anything in life one must work hard and put all your energy into your task.

As for what Google told me. I will share that with you when I share my own personal development someday. As for now I am determined to get back on course and get working hard , following my dreams and making them happen.

In summary:

1. Be  honest with yourself
2. Take responsiblitiy for your actions
3. Reflection is an important step towards realising you have a problem
4. Have faith in your ability
5. buckle down and start something.

Change is inevitable for me to be successful and satisfied with my life.

Keep you guys posted

Tiwi

October Challenge

So I was casually scrolling through my YouTube 'watch this suggestions' and I came across Tracee Ellis Ross October challenge. The #octoberchallenge is a fitness challenge. At the beginning of the year one of my resolutions was to lose weight and get healthy. Sadly I joined the gym and only went  for 2 days and quit. I'd even bought all the gear but I haven't motivated myself.

I'm at the point in my life where I don't like my body or how it looks. My 20s are supposed to be some of the happiest moments of my life but because of my bad eating habits and lack of exercise it is a bit of a nightmare sometimes. I am 97kg which is 15.2749 stone according to Google. And frankly I am sick of it! Im only 5'6 and a half so this weight has got to go. I will be using the October challenge as my starting point of my fitness/ get healthy journey.

Watch the original video for more on the October challenge

Wish me luck and please pray for me because snacking always gets me! I want to break my unhealthy relationship with food!

I am setting myself the following

• Jog/ walk 5 days a week
• drink more water
• replace snacks with more fruit and veg
• cook more healthy food
• Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.

This is just the beginning guys

Happy October peoples

Love

Tiwi

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What I'm listening to part 3

Hello lovelies

If there is one thing I love it's music. I think it would definitely make the 10 things I would take with me on a desert island. Even though I have quite an eclectic taste in music I hold a special place for neo- soul music. Today I will share the new music I've found and some old classics I just can't get out of mind. Enjoy.

Fred Hammond : Be Magnified

I have a lot of respect for people who dedicate their lives to using music to proclaim the word of God and be witnesses for his kingdom. It is not easy proclaiming your faith these days alot of people think your a freak or weirdo, even just by sharing a song. 

This song speaks to my soul and makes me feel closer to God. When I'm feeling down I just listen to it and God talks to me. You can really feel His amazing presences in this song.

Kem

If you haven't heard of this man then you need to check out his music. I love him , his voice is amazing and I've seen his live performances on YouTube. Lord have mercy he is good. I hope he decides to have a UK tour some day so that I can go and see him. If not then America here I come.

Ron Isely featuring Kem : My Favourite thing.

Found this son last week and I can't get it out of my mind. This is what I call real good music. The video is tasteful and the song is even more amazing. I love how their voice mesh perfectly. Whatever happened to love songs like this? 

  

Discovering Shakka. 

Sometimes I feel like I live under a rock. Here is this amazing UK based musician and I didn't know he exists. I discovered Shakka's music watching a natural hair tutorial on Fusionofcultures Youtube Channel ( she is amazing btw), she always has amazing background music.  In my defense I live in Skipton where I spend most of my time indoors coped away( I need more excitement). This man deserves a Grammy. Why aren't his songs on the top 40 UK charts? All his songs are amazing and I shall be familiarize myself with his music and next time he has a concert I will make sure I am there singing my heart out. 

Marvin Sapp : One thing

This is song makes me happy. It makes me jump up and down and simply praise God. I love the energy in this performance. One day I would love to see Him live.

SWV : So into you and TLC baby , baby, baby

I don't know , but this song has been on my mind for the last week. I keep bursting into song randomly. I love this song, it also reminds me of baby baby baby by TLC. The beats are quite similar so I just keep interchanging the lyrics and grooving to the beat.

Micasa : Jika

These guys give me life. Everything they ever make is awesome. The song and music video are on point. I Just love it and the dance move is so easy. You won't be disappointed if you check this one out. 

DJ Qness : Everything

The vocals and the beat in this song are simply amazing. Nothing more nothing less. The video is also very creative. I love the dancing and the emotion.

Jasmine Thompson

Yes the Sainsbury advert got me. I had to find the amazing person who does an original and amazing cover of Chaka Khan's Ain't nobody. If you haven't heard it already then please check her out. Love, love this.

That's it for this week folks. I loved making this post and I hope you enjoy listening to the music I've shared with you guys.

Love 

Tiwi x

Where I'm from...

Where I'm from there is sunshine almost all year round
That earthy smell , that hustle and bustle like any other city.
Unique smells, sounds. Vibrant life.Excitement .


Where I'm from to talk about sex is a no go area.
And yet, young , old, single, married participate in the act
Sleazy hotels, motels and any private place (or public dark areas for the brave)
Where I'm from HIV/AIDS is a sad reality that is encroaching on our society
And yet people ignore it, silence the knowledge while people drop dead like flies.
Misinformation, A lack of education and ignorance is the order of the day...
When will people start  talking about sex?  Not everyone chooses to remain pure and save it for marriage. Because they don't understand why it is worth it...
Educate your children don't expect the world to educate them for you !Our society is morally skewed what knowledge can a child gain?

Don't get me wrong.Where I'm from...
Campaigns exist, Condoms are free, information is there and yet the death toll rises and the rate of infection goes up. The problem is HIV doesn't have a face. It is for most people invisible even when they get it or are affected by it . People brush it under the rug and continue as per pre HIV.

When somebody dies the old age 'They were sick' is the only response
And yet like most I know that this is code word for they had HIV/AIDS and it killed them.
Where I am from cheating is understood as part of life. The most common clique : The cheating husband
The husbands cheat and go on their merry way
While wives wait at home silently knowing the truth of their husbands infidelity
Risking their lives . When you ask them why they stay this is what they tell you
'Me and my husband are committed to making our marriage work'
When you ask them do you use condoms they tell you. 'You can't use condoms because it brings up the issue of trust'.
Oh and his illegitimate children might turn up one day but you are expected to accept them.
After all marriage is not a bed of roses. Forgive him.You smile and grin and act like everything is OK
Until HIV/AIDs knocks on your door.
You see the funny thing is where I'm from. That cheated wife will acts shocked when the nurse or the doctor says  ' You are HIV positive'. What do you think? HIV has a preference?
You see my people HIV is not a death sentence but why must people die or be infected in vain?There is an old saying I like: If you keep doing the same things the same way , expecting different results then that is called insanity .
My point exactly.

Tiwi Gondwe

A Thank you letter

I yearn and thirst for your knowledge
The only one who makes me whole
Lord Jesus I am no ashamed of your gospel.
For your grace and salvation saved my wretched soul.
You set me free from the shackles of sin
From the bondage of sin, family curses and the plan on the enemy.
I don't say this enough but Thank you Lord.
You always set me in the right path, even though it is a struggle for me sometimes
You keep on blessing and forgiving me
You are always here listening to me.
You showed and taught me love. Before you I knew only pain, darkness and rejection
But You came into my love and surrounded me with your  peace that passes understand.

This is just a little note to say Thank you Lord. To exalt your holy and precious name
Renew my oil Lord. For I am your oh God.
Bless me with your understanding. Hear the words of my heart.
I desire to walk in your path of righteousness. My heart's desire is to know you better

Thank you for your love, your word and your understanding

Tiwi
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